March 23rd is a very important date in my life. Not only for the fact that I will be rocking the stage with my band, Alice Sweet Alice, among many friends we have made in the local music scene. But, this date also marks my 7th year as a cancer survivor. I can’t think of a better way to celebrate!!!
I find the coincidence of this event to be quite fitting. Reason being, my survival is the sole reason I began to dive into my passion for music. It made me realize that life is much too short not to enjoy the things that truly make you happy now. It was time to find internal happiness. For me, music was the missing element to my happiness.
Music has always come to my rescue throughout my life from childhood through adulthood. But, I don’t believe I truly recognized the effect it had on me until after my diagnosis. While I was sitting for 4 hrs of chemo treatment in a room full of others fighting a similar battle, distraction was a welcomed treat. Watching a tv screen and reading made me nauseas (as did most everything else). I wasn’t as lucky as the other patients who had loved ones come to keep them company. And sleep wasn’t possible with the constant beeps of the machine, and repeated vital checks. My entire focus was forced into survival mode and it was hard to clear my mind.
There was only one thing that really helped me remain in the right state of mind. That was music, or as I liked to call it, ‘audio therapy’. Music kept me company, distracted me from the pain, encouraged me to fight, and strengthened my soul to the core. Without it, I don’t know that I would have handled it quite the same. At that time, it was my best friend, support, and motivation.
When you have truly survived, it is at that time that you realize just how close to death you were. It is at that time that I realized how close my kids were to losing their mother. Just one day after receiving word that I had received word that I reached remission, I wrote my first composition called, “It’s My Time”. I wrote this song as a message to my children and loved ones, in the event that I am to leave this earth. I wanted to give them some form of me to keep, to comfort, and to reach to in times of sorrow. This song was later revisited by Alice Sweet Alice and featured on our 2nd album entitled “Moloko and Ultraviolence”. (Download link below)
I could never again live without music in my life, in some form. Alice Sweet Alice has felt so natural and “right” to me since day one. I am surrounded by what I consider to be some of the best talent this place has to offer. I am honored to share the stage with these guys every chance I get. The fact that we have received so much support from our friends, family, fans, and community is something I will cherish, never forget nor take for granted. Thank you all for listening, sharing, and being a part of my musical career, my survival.